Mother: Truth or Dare
by Mr.InsaneGuy
Summary: What happens when all of the characters from all of the mother games are put in a giant Truth or Dare... thing? Absolute insanity We survived death
1. It begins

: You know, I want to update the MLP Truth or Dare but there aren't reviews yet. What should I do Robot Jesus?

(NOTE: Robot Jesus is an evil robot version of real Jesus and is not associated with the real Jesus at all. I do not mean to offend, it was a joke I made with some friends)

Robot Jesus: Maybe you should start another ToD series, it will keep you occupied and it may not be as fucked up.

: Good Idea, but what universe?

: Earthbound/Mother

: why that?

R. Jesus: Well, I found an Ultimate Chimera outside and I caught it. So, why not.

Mr. InsaneGuy: Okay, you stay here and watch the ponies and make sure they not kill each other or themselves.

R. Jesus: Yes, sir.

IN ONETT...

(Ness is flipping through channels)

News reporter: Breaking News: Word has just came in about the disappearance of Paula Polestar of Twoson, the 13-year-old that helped save the world about a year ago. She was last seen yesterday, when she went off to go school and never came back. This has been national news report.

Ness: Paula's missing! * grabs his backpack and runs out the door *

IN TWOSON...

Paula's mom: Ness! I assume you got word of what happened.

Ness: Yes and I will do anything to find her.

Paula's Dad: The kidnapper left a note. Why would he come here to leave it here.

Ness: What does it say?

Paula's Dad: It says to go to the old warehouse at the south edge of town. Why would he tell us where she was?

Ness: I'm going anyway

Police Officer: It is obviously a trap!

Ness: I have the strength of a super human with PSI Powers, I can handle myself.

Paula's mom: Just be careful

AT THE WAREHOUSE...

Ness: Where are you!? Show yourself! * spots Paula tied up *

Paula: Ness, don't come any closer, he get you! * He walks closer and is suddenly hit with a crowbar. Ness blacks out *

: You know Paula, your boyfriend here is not as tough as he lets on, with the whole saving the world thing.

Paula: You Monster! If you had not sucked the PSI out of me, I would have killed you.

: I don't care

IN AN UNDISCLOSED LOCATION...

Ness: * wakes up *

Duster: Hey kid, it's about time you got up, must have been hit pretty hard, huh. * to the other main characters of all Mother games * Hey guys, he's awake!

Paula: Ness! * hugs him *

Lucas: Hey dude, haven't seen you since brawl, how it goin' , well before this.

Ness: We have no time, we need to find a way out!

Ninten: It's useless, we stuck here, our PSI energy has been drained.

Ness: So what do we do? Just sit here? * walks in with an orange haired boy *

Mr. InsaneGuy: He is still a cyborg, but he is alive, so there you go

Lucas: Claus

Claus: Lucas, I didn't think I'd see you... so late

Lucas: what?

Claus: Well after you pulled that final needle, you were very depressed and me and mom thought you were going to kill yourself.

Lucas: What the fuck, dude!

Kumatora: He's right, you were in your house for about a week.

Lucas: What's next? You and mom had a bet on how long it was going to take before I killed myself.

Claus: and how you would.

Lucas: That is so fucking morbid.

Claus: Hey, I thought it would take 2 weeks and you were going to hang yourself, Mom thought you would jump off a building in a week.

Lucas: *looks up * What the fuck, Mom!

IN HEAVEN...

Hinawa: I told Claus, not to tell Lucas of our bet. Kids just don't listen!

BACK TO EARTH...

Claus: Were glad you didn't!

Lucas: The thought of suicide did go through my head a few times and if I did, I probably would have drank poison.

Mr. InsaneGuy: This is fucked up as hell, but not as bad as those ponies. Anyway, welcome to the Truth or Dare show, where souls are corrupted and minds go mad. I am , but you can all call me Bob.

Jeff: Okay, let me get this straight here, you kidnapped all of us, and revived a person. Just for a game of truth or dare. What's next, a bunch of random people sending in what we should do.

Bob: … Yeah

Ness: Jeff, we hate you.

Bob: Anyway, here are the rules readers

Send in a minimum of 3 ToD's and a Maximum of 10

You can submit a ToD to any character that is a part of the Earthbound/Mother series and I will gladly abduct them.

Try to keep it T rated, but I will move the rating to M, if needed.

Leave your submissions as a review to this story or PM me.

Bob: Your stay will not be enjoyable, so I will just release the Ultimate Chimera and see what happens.

Everyone: Fuck.

UC: * ROAR *

Review


	2. Hinawa is alive!

Bob: HELLO MUTHA' FUCKA'S and welcome back to Mother Truth or Dare! How was the Ultimate Chimera?

Everyone: He turned it off

Bob: HOW?!

Ness: We used Jeff as bait and then Ninten pushed the button.

Bob: Well let's bring him back * Jeff is alive again *

Jeff: I hate you all.

Bob: The first ToD's come from The Zelda Chuck Norris (can't get anymore bad-ass than that) and he asks Paula: What were you going to tell Ness at the end of Earthbound before before you chickened out?

Paula: I was going to tell him that I had a wonderful time with him and that I loved him, but yes, I chickened out.

Ness: She told me about a month later and then we started going out.

Paula: I love you, Ness * kisses Ness *

Ness: I love you too.

Bob: Next Question, still on the topic of love, Kumatora, do you love Lucas?

Kumatora: … no * Electic Shocks *

Bob: Lying will result in a painful electric shock that can bypass Franklin Badges.

Kumatora: Okay! Okay! I love Lucas! I just hate being all mushy and lovey-dovey, you understand Lucas?

Lucas: Kumatora, we know that is not in your nature. It's alright.

Bob: The next ToD involves Wess so I kidnapped him.

Wess: what am I doing here?!

Bob: Wess, why are you so lenient with Duster

Duster: LENIENT!?

Wess: I am lenient! You are 25 and you still live in my house.

Duster: You say I have to stay for Training.

Wess: and ever since you HELPED save the world, you have been slacking off in your training, you moron!

Duster: Fuck you.

Wess: * beats the shit out of Duster *

Bob: Well that got two ToD's out of the way, awesome. The next one is for Ana and the question is: Why are you the only main female character that got to be together with the main male character? (within the game of course)

Ana: I don't why. I just felt that I loved Ninten and had to tell him.

Paula: When do you tell him?

Ana: During the Adventure.

Paula: How do you do that?

Ana: I figured Ninten liked me too, he keep jumping in the way of attacks that were aimed at me.

Ninten: I just wanted you to be safe from harm, I could not stand to lose you.

Ana: ah, Ninten

Bob: and this is a question... for me asking why I did not bring Crying boy and cyborg's mother back.

Lucas and Claus: -_-

Bob: Well... I just don't care. Next ToD... says for me to be bitch slapped by Ana, Paula, and Kumatora and the only way I can get out of it is to bring Hinawa back to life. If you'll excuse me...

5 MINUTES LATER...

Bob: here she is, I am done with that.

Lucas: Mom! * hugs Hinawa *

Hinawa: Lucas, it is so great to see you. You have grown a lot.

Bob: Ninten, must do the famous scene from star wars where Darth Vader reveals that he is Luke's father. Is this supposed to mean anything?

Ninten: That I created this dumb kid

Ness: Stop looking at my report cards... I mean, I'm not stupid

Paula: You kinda proved yourself wrong there.

Bob: I got a way to prove this, * calls up Ness's mom * Hello

Ness's mom: Hello, may I ask who this is?

Bob: This is the kidnapper that has your son and all of his friends, I demand you to tell me you and your husband's name or else I'll... shoot your son... in the dick!

Ness's mom: Okay, I am Ana and my husband is Ninten. Just don't shoot him! I want grandchildren!

Bob: thank you for your time * hangs up * I guess Ninten is the father of Ness.

Ninten: I am your father

Ness: Wait, doesn't Luke get his hand cut... * Teddy cuts his hand off * * Ness screams in pain *

Teddy: done

Bob: Jeff you must fight the Ultimate Chimera.

Jeff: not again. * dies *

Bob: Ness, you must go streaking around, take this censor bar and put it around your waist.

Ness: * goes streaking *

Bob: the next dares are from animefan4eva5 and this person says... well first off, Hinawa, you are aware messed up things can happen when people from the internet give ToD's to me right?

Hinawa: Yes, I saw your my little pony: friendship is magic Truth or Dare.

Paula: You are doing this to everyone in my little pony?!

Ana: What the hell?!

All the guys: yeah!?... I mean... we got nothin'

Kumatora: My little pony sucks * electric shock *

Bob: Kumatora, lying is betraying trust, you would not last 2 seconds in Trouble in Terrorist Town. Anyway, the dare is for Lucas and Claus to make out.

Hinawa: What?!

Lucas and Claus: NO!

Bob: I have to describe the whole thing so fuck you all. Good thing I have a robot writing for me. *starts reading * Lucas came up to Claus and put his lips up against his and started a long kiss that seemed an eternity. Then Claus starts to work his tongue into Lucas's mouth and...

Lucas and Claus: NO!

Bob: Okay skip it, then Claus went down and started to unzip...

Lucas and Claus: NO! What the fuck is going on!?

Bob: This is strange... Oh I got the sex writing robot to type this up for me. Not the fluff robot... my bad.

Lucas: Asshole!

Bob: Oh now every sentence you say must have a swear, now Lucas

Lucas: That sounds fucking easy.

Bob: Ninten must breathe in car fumes for half an hour

Ninten: but I'll have an asthma attack and I don't have an inhaler.

Bob: Ninten, you won't die. I promise. * Ninten walks in garage with a Psycho Car *

Bob: These next ToD's are from Drugstorebestfriend and the first one is for Claus to kiss Ninten. Go in there Claus, Ninten might need a break already. The next on is for the Ultimate Chimera an he must target... Kumatora.

UC: * ROAR * * kills Kumatora *

Bob: Lucas come outside by this cliff for me

OUTSIDE...

Bob: Is the view of the ocean nice?

Lucas: yeah.

Bob: well that's your grave * pushes him down the cliff *

Hinawa: What was that for?!

Bob: It was a ToD, I had to, Jeff is dead so the next dare is for duster to do a triple back flip.

Duster: I would but Dad broke both of my legs.

Bob: * throws Duster off the cliff * anyone else a cripple? … That's what I thought. Now Wess do the dance. *Everyone does the Wess dance *

IN THE HOUSE...

Ninten: * opens door from garage * * on the ground, having a asthma attack * can't... bre...breathe. Must... grab inhaler. *reaches for inhaler but passes out *

Ana: NINTEN! * uses inhaler on Ninten * Breathe, Ninten. Breathe! *checks for breathing * Oh thank God... your breathing.

Ninten: *wakes up * thanks Ana. I'm gonna take a nap now.

That was a fun first chapter. We got about 20 ToD's in the first 24 hours. AWESOME

review


	3. BAAAWWWWWB shoots everyone ft C4 Flint

Bob: Hello readers as you may or may not have noticed, this story was deleted. How they did it was that they came in and shot everyone in the building. The group that helped get this deleted reviews more popular categories, like My Little Pony, so I...

Paula: Did you kill everyone

Bob: I actually wiped there memories with a memory bomb.

Paula: So, why was the My Little Pony episode that I just watched, was about Pinkie Pie killing herself

Bob: Holy shit, BEN! (beats the TV with a crowbar) Go back to Majora's mask where you belong.

(Everyone is confused)

Bob: (whispers to self) Note to self, memory bomb does not erase the minds of the suicidal.

Paula: what?

Bob: Nothin' so because of this we only have three ToD's and one of them is a song so fuck that. So with that said... Jeff... hack your father's computer and find something interesting by the command of animefan4eva5!

Jeff: Already did that

Bob: damn

Jeff: Loid Andonuts: Age: 30 and looks old from an experiment gone wrong... what is this (click)

May 1, 1987

Ever since that accident, I have never been able to get a girlfriend or a prostitute. No 20-year-old wants to go out with a man that looks 85. It is so lonely here... I need a son

May 11, 1987

I have decided to make a son by extracting a DNA sample, Altering it, and cloning it. I can't wait

July 16, 1990

I just realized something... small children are annoying as hell. So I sent Jeff to a boarding school.

Jeff: Oh god, I was not born naturally

Ness: (to Paula) told ya

Paula: Really Ness, the idea of Jeff being cloned because his dad was old seemed far fetched.

Ness: but I was right.

Loid: So I will end up creating this douche

Jeff: What did you say?

Loid: you can be kind of a dick at times.

Bob: Next dare says for... how does this person n=know about my retarded clone named BAAAWWWWWB!

BAAAWWWWWB: HI BOB

Bob: okay BAAAWWWWWB, you need to shoot Ness in the dick while... wait a sec... (summons Ness's mom) she watches... okay

BAAAWWWWWB: (misfires gun at Kumatora)

Kumatora: Shit, my fucking shoulder... I wish I could use my PSI.

Lucas: For what, killing BAAAWWWWWB and Bob or to heal.

Kumatora: Both

Bob: BAAAWWWWWB, that was fun but it is time to (misfires again... hitting Poo)

Poo: Please keep, the invalid under control.

Bob: sorry but (misfires at Paula)

Paula: My Foot! Please just shoot Ness already.

Ness: Paula, do you know how valuable my dick is to me.

Paula: Well women have to give birth and I hear that is hell.

BAAAWWWWWB: Fires aWAY (shoots Ness everywhere... but the dick)

Ness: IS THIS NOT AS BAD AS CHILDBIRTH PAULA!

Paula: but...

Ness: IS THIS NOT AS BAD AS CHILDBIRTH PAULA!

Paula: Hey I didn't know...

Ness: FUCK YOU

Ness's Mom: I am just going to walk away.

Ninten: (to Ana) 15 years in the future and your still beautiful.

Ana and Ness's Mom: That's so sweet Ninten. (Note: they are the same person)

Paula: Ness, calm down

Ness: CALM DOWN I HAVE A HUNDRED BULLETS IN ME AND YOU WANT ME TO CALM DOWN!

Paula: (starts to cry) Well I was just doing my best to help

Ness: well then go away and stop talking to me! (throws baseball bat at Paula)

Paula: (knocked out)

Bob: now try again BAAAWWWWWB

BAAAWWWWWB: OKAy (Finally shoots Ness in the dick)

Ness: NOW ALL OF YOU GET AWAY FROM ME!

Bob: Wow Ness, you knocked your girlfriend out cold and now you are yelling at us. You are a rude house guest. Anyway since there is a lack of ToD's I will make some of my own. With that said... PLAY HOT POTATO WITH THIS GRENADE! (throws to Kumatora, tosses it to Ninten, tosses it to Jeff, to Poo, to the Ultimate Chimera, and explodes on Boney.)

Bob: That was fun next one is for Hinawa to kill her both of her children.

Hinawa: No, Just kill me

Bob: or Flint will fall down from the sky with C4 strapped to him and it will kill...

(Flint falls out of a plane, with C4 strapped to him, and he explodes with Hinawa, Claus and Lucas.)

Bob: Damn it, that was early! I guess I'm done for today, I will cast a healing spell on everyone alive and call it a day. (healing spell)

Ness: Much better, how did I even live anyway

Paula:(wakes up)

Ness: Hey Paula, your awake, I'm sorry that I got mad at you and threw my bat at you. So if there is any way I can make it up to you, I'll be happy to do it.

Paula: … (hits his balls with a frying pan) That still does not make up for it. Are you happy?

Ness: (in pain) no...

Paula: Now your lying... (hits him in the face) Ness, you were an asshole to me back there and you treated me like crap. I know you were shot a lot but my god, you were healed 10 minutes later.

Ness: are you going to be mad for awhile?

Paula: Probably

Please send in ToD's it keeps this story alive


	4. Lesson of the Day: DON'T KILL PAULA!

WEEELL Kyle mom's a bitch she's a big fat bitch, she's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world she's a stupid bitch if there ever was a bitch, she's a bitch to all the boys and girls

Read more: SOUTH PARK - KYLE'S MOM'S A B**CH LYRICS

Bob: HELLO MUTHA FUCKA'S and welcome back to Mother ToD! Last time, Ness got shot everywhere, Paula kicked his ass, and C4 Flint is a thing!

Flint: I hate you

Bob: Your wife should have killed cry-boy and cyborg sooner.

Hinawa: Well, at least the family is back together again.

Bob: yeah, I don't care. Anyway, on to the ToD's. First one's are from animefan4eva5 and this person wants me to do the dare I skipped, which involved singing... and I hate singing in these things... but, I guess we can make an exception since he or she has reviewed every chapter. So Ness, sing Kyle's mom is a big fat bitch, but replace kyle with Lucas.

Ness: Alright, I am not so thrilled about the singing.

Bob: same here.

Ness:

_weeelllllll, lucas' mom's a bitch, she's a big fat bitch,  
She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world,  
She's a stupid bitch if there ever was a bitch,  
She's a bitch to all the boys and girls_

_on monday she's a bitch, on Tuesday she's a bitch,  
And Wednesday through Saturday she's a bitch,  
Then on Sunday, just to be different,  
She's a super king kamehameha bi-atch!_

_Have you ever met my friend Kyle's mom?  
She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world,  
She's a mean old bitch and she has stupid hair,  
She's a bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch...  
Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, she's a stupid bitch!  
Lucas' mom's a bitch, and she just a dirty bitch!_

Talk to kids around the world,  
It might go a little bit somethin' like this!

(Ness & kids in various languages)

Have you ever met my friend Lucas' mom?  
She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world,  
She's a mean old bitch and she has stupid hair,  
She's a bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch...  
Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, she's a stupid bitch! 

_Lucas' mom's a bitch, and she just a dirty bitch!_

I really mean it Lucas' mom!  
She's a big fat, fuckiiin' biiiiiitch,  
Mean old fat fuckin' bitch, Lucas' moooom yeah-chaaaa

Bob: With that done, let's move to the good stuff. Claus come here for a sec.

Claus: yeah

Bob: You know (takes out electric razor blade) razor blades like these are less dangerous than the normal non electric ones. But, they can do some damage still. Put this in your mouth and turn it on.

Claus: Fine, (does what he is told) OH MY GOD THE PAIN (swallows) IT IS IN ME NOW! HELP! MY ROBOTIC LUNGS! Can't... breath (coughs up blood and robotic parts) some... one... … ca... can't... breath. (dies)

Flint: WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!

Bob: BAAAWWWWWB, attack (BAAAWWWWWB shoots Duster) Your useless BAAAWWWWWB.

(Flint tries to punch Bob but is stopped by Robot Jesus)

Robot Jesus: You shall not harm Bob, here is a warning (saws Flint in half)

Ness: You know, I think I'll be safe today. All I had to do was sing a song.

Paula: Yeah and since we are now even again... maybe we can just relax and watch TV or something.

Ness: I don't think almost busting one of my nuts with that frying pan makes us "even" but I won't argue.

Paula: Hey at least that bat didn't kill me (laughs)

Bob: OH MY GOD! My medieval torture thing came in the mail today (sets up that coffin thing with all of the spikes in it) This looks nice. Anyway Lucas, do you know how to make a martini?

Lucas: no

Bob: well your in luck (hands Luacs an ice cream scooper) make one the main ingredient is Ness' eyeball.

Ness: No way Lucas

Lucas: C'mon the sooner I do this, the sooner we will all be done with this.

Ness: … sigh... I guess I could use an eyepatch.

(Lucas scoops Ness' eye out and puts in in a blender)

Bob: Now for the "lime"

Ness: No! I need this eye to see!

Lucas: sorry dude

(takes another eye and completes the eyeball martini)

Bob: Now drink!

Ness: The only enjoyable part in this entire thing... and I can't see a damn thing.

(Lucas drinks it all... then proceeds to vomit outside)

Ninten: Hey Loid, you know what seems like a good idea?

Loid: uh... no... what

Ninten: Messing with my future son.

Ana: That's horrible, Ninten

Ness' Mom: I agree with... myself?

Ninten: Well I don't care soooooo... (throws an egg in Ness' eyesocket)

Ness: Okay who ever does that again... I will go on a rampage!

Ninten: You can't see dumbass

Ness: Shut up, Ninten

Ninten: Hey, I am your father and you should speak to me with respect (laughs) this is awesome.

Ana: Ninten, are you seriously considering doing it again?

Ninten: Already said I would (throws egg)

Ness: THAT'S IT (goes on a rampage swinging his bat, hits Paula into the spiky coffin and closes) did I hit him

Ninten: uh... ow... Ness that hurt... sorry for being such a dick. (he's lying)

Ness: That's right, Dad. I am awesome... even if I am blind.

Ninten: (snickers)

Ana: (whispers) What the hell, Ninten! You made him kill his girlfriend and you aren't going to tell him.

Ninten: … She'll come back to life later

Ana: that's not the point... the point is, stop messing with Ness!

Ninten: Alright, I'll stop it.

Bob: next one is from psi miracle and this person wants Tracy to stay for 3 chapters, which is not going to happen. Once your here, you stay. Lucas open the present. (Lucas opens present and Tracy jumps on Lucas' head, trying to bite him)

Lucas: get her off of me!

Bob: I replaced her brain with a headcrab's.

Lucas: Stop it

Bob: Fine (brains back to normal)

Ness: I wanted to see that.

Bob: I'll transfer the images to your brain later

Ness: YAY!

Tracy: Where am I? Why am I on someone's head?

Lucas: Get off

Ana: is that your... or my... daughter

Ness' Mom: yes

Ana: she's so cute.

(Note: I am skipping the others because I have no idea about "miku" or MMD and songs suck)

LATER THAT NIGHT...

Ness: (reading his mind for the tracy head crab thing) that is so awesome, Bob has outdone himself this time.

Paula: Ness...

Ness: Paula, where were you? I ran into a wall, like, 20 times today.

Paula: Ness, you killed me

Ness: what?

Paula: YOU FUCKING KILLED ME WHEN YOU WERE ON THAT DAMN RAMPAGE!

Ness: Sorry, I couldn't see and my eyes are not a place of eggs.

Paula: You knocked me into the medieval coffin.

Ness: I'm sorry

Paula: too bad (starts beating the crap out of him with a frying pan)


	5. Porky gets his ass kicked

OUTSIDE OF BOB'S REALM...

Bob: Finally ungrounded! I guess I should go check up on the Mother characters

INSIDE BOB'S REALM...

(Entire house is destroyed and on fire)

Bob: WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED!

Lucas: Ness and Paula's giant argument happened, They blew up the house!

Bob: Thank you Cryboy, thank you for stating the obvious.

Robot Jesus: I got it on tape... sir.

Bob: Okay, I feel better. Now to punish those two.

(Goes to the wreckage to find Ness and Paula making out)

Bob: Now I'm confused!

Kumatora: They wanted to kill each other an hour ago, what happened?

Paula: We don't know either.

Ness: I guess we finally just... got over the grudge.

Bob: Well, if any of this happens again, I will send the person to the worst place imaginable... rule 34 land.

Everyone: … what?

Bob: You don't want to know... Anyway, lets make a new house! Maybe a mansion. (mansion appears) Now you all have rooms to yourselves and you can stop bugging me.

Wess: But the floor was never go for my back.

Bob: Well, problem solved. On to the ToD's

Everyone: Damn it

Bob: the first ones come from guest... are you fucking kidding me! I get anonymous reviews all the time, but none of them are just "guest" Anyway, he wants Lucas and Claus to kill me and Robot Jesus can't do anything about it... Well then, ULTIMATE CHIMERA! PROTECT ME!

UC: ROAR! (translation: Yes, Bob)

Lucas: We'll just leave you alone Bob.

Claus: We're cool, right?

Bob: Yeah, I won't kill you if you won't harm me. Next one is for Ness and this one requires Porky

Ness: NO!

Bob: What? You get to kill him.

Ness: But he will stay here.

Bob: Well to bad, here is the fat fuck himself.

Porky: Hello, Pigbutt... I mean, Ness. Hello little robot.

Claus: (trying to keep his cool)

Porky: I said hello, robot. You have to obey me.

Claus: (About to lose his cool)

Porky: Whatever.

Bob: So before the "fun" I need to ask you something, Was ruining Lucas' life a mistake, Porky?

Porky: Well, I have ruined the lives of a little boy, his dad, and his dog by killing that dumb whore. Repaired the other little boy into a mindless robot and then the mindless robot killed himself using Lucas' Franklin badge... meaning Lucas killed the robot (AN: Think about it, when a lightning shooting enemy is killed by his own lightning, who get the xp? YOU!) So yes, it was.

Ness: Lucas, I think you have more reason to kill this fat-ass more than I do.

Lucas: (to family) any want to join me?

(Lucas and family beat the crap out of Porky until he dies)

Hinawa: I was never into violence, but that was such a relief.

Bob: Kill the yaoi fangirls Paula. KILL THEM!

Paula: ?

Bob: They like to write about your boyfriend getting it on with... pretty much every man.

Ness: PLEASE KILL THEM ALL PAULA, I WILL LOVE YOU EVEN MORE!

Paula: Awwwww... (kills the yaoi fangirls) (AN: It's was a ToD, don't get mad fangirls that might be reading this)

Bob: I think we did this already but... Kumatora, do you love Lucas?

Kumatora: I know he's 4 years younger than me and that may seem weird. Especially since he is only 14, but yes, I love him.

Lucas: (too shy to say anything)

Bob: Well, with that said, YUNOGOOD has something that you will not enjoy, Kumatora... Kiss Ness for 2 minutes

Kumatora and Paula: NO WAY!

Kumatora: Why Ness, sure he looks alright, but he can be kind of a prick.

Ness: What did you say about me!?

Paula: Ness, she is right.

Ness: Okay, maybe I am, but I am not kissing her and that's final.

Bob: I'll shoot you.

Ness: Go ahead (Bob almost fires but he flinches)

Bob: two for finchin' (shoots both of his knees)

Ness: You... fucking asshole.

Bob: whatever, but I will give you points for being faithful to your girl. Now Poo, eat your right arm

Poo: Why?

Bob: BECAUSE I SAID SO MOTHA' FUCKA' NOW DO IT!

(Poo has a "nice" meal)

Bob: Jeff kiss the Ultimate Chimera.

Jeff: Well, oka- (CHOP)

Bob: 0_0 awesome. Now we will end off on a small note, Ness, What is your last name?

Ness: Coleman.

Bob: Well that concludes today's ToD. Good bye

LATER...

Lucas: uh... Kumatora.

Kumatora: hey Lucas, what's up

Lucas: well earlier about you saying that you loved me and... uh... (to self) damn it, Lucas... you just had it.

Kumatora: (smiles) do you feel the same way about me?

Lucas: Well, I wanted to say it myself but... yes

Kumatora: well, that made my day. Oh, and I kinda figured since you were catching little glimpses at me in the hot springs.

Lucas: (blushes) … uh... no, I have never done that.

Kumatora: Lucas, we are physics. We can read minds. I know your lying.

Lucas: … Fine, you got me.

**Sorry for being away for a while. I was grounded (me and my sister broke a window) but I am free!**

**Review**

**(Oh and if you want me to write these in a more traditional format, just PM me. I had a review pointing the flaws of this out and I'll change the format if everyone wants me to, for at least a chapter)**


	6. The messed up chapter

Bob: HELLO MUTHA' FUCKA'S and welcome back to the ToD show... thing... robot... Anyway, how was your new rooms everyone.

Hinawa: The Most luxurious rooms I have ever been in. Me and Flint had a great time.

Lucas: (in his mind) well I bet you two did enjoy yourselves while I had to listen to you two having sex. I was up all night!

Claus: (telepathic communication to Lucas) Now that is why I did not pick the room by mom and dad.

Lucas: (Telepathic communication) I have learned. Can I bunk with you?

Claus: (telepathic communication) no.

Duster: I thought you would make each of our rooms a personal hell.

Bob: Duster, When I have a mansion, I go all out on. Everything is high-quality. Moving on, I have only one set of ToD's today and they are from our friend, guest. (You need a better name bro, so I will call you Mr. Guest from now on.) First truth is for Porky. Is living forever a bummer?

Porky: Not when you have lotion and tissues.

Bob: Dude... what the hell!

Porky: what? I use the tissues to blow my nose and the lotion to keep my skin smooth because I was old. (Porky is young and mortal here)

Bob: Okay, Now Claus, do you love Nana.

Claus: I remember her, I had to ask her a few questions when I was in Porky's empire. She... Was... ANNOYING! I ask her about the whereabouts of Lucas and then the next minutes she talks about what she did 3 months and 22 days before.

Bob: So, who do you like?

Lucas: Yeah Claus, who?

Hinawa: Well he...

Claus: NO!... Mom... Stop!

Hinawa: It was so cute, Claus...

Claus: You made me do this (Casts Hypnosis Alpha) (Hinawa falls asleep)

Lucas: I already read your mind, bro.

Claus: We agreed on no telepathy!

Boney: Woof Woof (Who's the lucky lady?)

Lucas: Well, first we need to pin Claus down, Ness, if you would

Ness: My pleasure (Pins Claus down)

Kumatora: So, who is it?

Lucas: Do you remember the robot we fought in thunder tower, the one in the play room guarding a yo-yo?

Duster: Yeah

Lucas: He love the robot.

Everyone: … (bursts out laughing)

Claus: Everyone, she is not a robot

Lucas: I know your a chimera Claus, but I am sure there are some women who like cyborgs. But no, you settle with a full blown robot!

Claus: She's not a robot... she is also a chimera

Everyone: ?

Claus: Her name was Emma. Before she was a "robot", me and her fought along side each other. She was the best solider I have seen and she was about 2 years older than me. We became closer as she went up in rank.

Ness: So how is she a hunk of metal

Claus: I was getting to that... one day, there was a hovercraft crash. Me and everyone else made it out alright, but she was badly injured. Porky ordered her brain to be put in a maid-bot. I suggested a soldier-bot but he didn't care. So, she became a chimera and was transferred to thunder tower. We had conversations between my missions and we often joked about Fassad.

Fassad: I knew it!

Bob: Bro... thing... get the fuck out of here!

Claus: Then, she was apparently destroyed by Lucas and his friends.

Porky: Still pathetic

Paula and Ana: (crying) That was such a tragic romance! Why, Lucas!

Lucas: Thunder Tower blew up anyway. She could not have survived that!

Claus: I know Lucas, I don't hold it against you, I did at the time though.

Lil' miss marshmallow/ Emma: Oh Commander, I knew it, I just knew it.

Claus: Emma! (hugs) Its been so long. Oh and I go by Claus now

Emma: Sorry, no one ever knew your name in the first place. (to Bob) Um... sir... is there any chance I can be human.

Bob: sure (Emma is human)

Hinawa: (wakes up) (to Lucas) Did you tell everyone?

Lucas: Yup

Hinawa: I always knew I could count on you... look at them, so happy to meet each other after their separation. It's so cute.

Bob: Everyone, it has only been two ToD's and we are already at about 700 words. What the hell!? Ninten, Plant C4 in your future son's pants or die 5 times

Ninten: Already planted and is about to go off... now

(Ness' room expoldes)

Ninten: ?

Ness: I WEAR SHORTS! I WIN! IN YOUR FACE YOU PRICK!

Bob: Anyway, Lucas, murder 10 rabbits or kill Ness

Ness: Now Lucas, remember the prank I pulled on you in smash bros. I can make it worse! (evil grin)

Lucas: O_O Kill the bunnies (murders all of the bunnies)

Bob: Now Ness, your choices are to die the worst death possible by the hands of Robot Jesus, drowning in an alkali bath, or go to... rule 34 land.

Jeff: Ness, for your information, alkali baths are the most painful way to die.

Ness: Rule 34 land it is. I was wonder what it was anyway

Bob: Ness, as your tormentor, I want you to know that you should NOT do that.

Ness: Your trying to get me to go to the alkali bath. No!

Bob: Ness, we have been friends ever since we meet

Ness: You knocked me out with a crowbar.

Bob: I thought it was funny, right Paula!

Paula: No.

Ness: I'm goin' to rule 34 land and there is nothing you can do

Bob: ...fine... if you wish (Ness is teleported to rule 34 land) NO! WHAT HAVE I DONE! WHY NESS! WHY!

Ness' Mom: wait a second. YOU WERE SERIOUS!?

Bob: I was...

Poo: We all have questions... first of all, what is this land of rule 34.

Bob: Robot Jesus, I am going to look in this corner. Pull up a few pics of rule 34 earthbound. (looks in corner)

FIRST PIC...

Claus: OH MY GOD WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!

Jeff: MR. SATURNS WILL NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN!

Mr. Saturn: eW, gRoSs, BoInG. Me WaNt A lAwSuIt.

NEXT...

Paula, Ana, and Kumatora: (scream) WE'RE BEING VIOLATED. CHANGE THE PICTURE!

NEXT...

Flint: IS LUCAS... A GIRL!?

Porky: I don't know what your talking about, I love these pictures

(everyone backs away from Porky)

Porky: what? I wouldn't screw that, girl- Lucas has small tits. But if she had bigger tits, I'd... (Hinawa shuts him up with a punch in the face)

Bob: I am bored of this corner. Turn it off Robot Jesus.

(Pictures are turned off)

Bob: Now do you see why I tried to stop him. Anyway, Claus, do you want to make Porky your slave for a while (3 chapters)

Claus: Yes

Bob: Here is your bed (teleported on Porky) I recommend using the bed as a chariot for Porky to haul around.

Claus: well thank you Bob. (To Emma) Hop on and let's get some omelets from the kitchen... and try to forget the pictures

(Claus and Emma hop on the Pig-mobile and go to the kitchen)

AN HOUR LATER...

Bob: Ness has returned!

Paula: Ness are you alright?!

Ness: … I'm scared.

Lucas: Of what?

Ness: PLEASE GO AWAY!

Lucas: What's wrong dude?

Ness: Get away from me!

Lucas: We're your friends Ness, we are trying to help you out.

Ness: Don't take Paula, you sick bastard!

Lucas: Okay what the hell is goin... (Lucas is hit by PSI Rockin Omega)

Paula: Ness!

Ness: Don't worry Paula... I won't let them hurt you.

**We have officially fucked up Ness' mind. This chapter might be M rated now. I'll change it later.**

**Review, it keeps the story alive.**


	7. Final Chapter (character deaths)

Bob: hello everyone.

Paula: where is your typical greeting

Bob: Oh I decided that this is the last chapter, I want to start a new ToD now... How is Ness.

Ness' Mom: He is mostly sane now. He has a hard time sleeping at night and he will kill any Mr. Saturn he sees but he is improving.

Bob: CURE INSANITY

Ness: why did you wait to do that?

Bob: I didn't care... But lets teleport to Twoson for the day.

Paula: YAY! I get to see my family again!

IN TWOSON...

Bob: First Dare... (robot jesus grabs Porky and drowns him in an alkali bath.) moving on... Second dare... Eat your right leg, Duster

Duster: but...

Bob: DIG IN!

Bob: Hinawa, how was heaven?

Hinawa: It was Great and all, but I missed my family and me not being there really screwed somethings up... After this Truth or Dare thing... will Claus and I... die.

Bob: Naw... you two can live

(Emma hugs Claus)

Claus: You died too.

Emma: I'm just glad we can spend time together.

Bob: Stop the mushy shit! Jeff... do you love Tony.

Jeff: no

Bob: are you gay?

Jeff: um... no (ELECTRIC SHOCK)

Bob: I have not forgotten about that. Any way the last one is for Ness and it says play. So, we will just have an awesome fiddle battle. (tosses Ness a fiddle)

Ness: I don't know how to play.

Bob: (Punches Ness in the face) Now you do. Let's start with the Devil went to Georgia.

AT PAULA'S HOUSE...

Paula's Dad: Where is she!? WHERE IS PAULA!? (cries) I have failed as a parent.

Paula's Mom: I hear a fiddle

Paula's Dad: so

Paula's Mom: Let's go to the park, maybe it will help you relax.

AT THE PARK...

Paula's Dad: (Sees everyone) THEY ARE HERE

Ness and Bob: And if you lose, the devil will take your soooooooul!

Paula's Dad: and they are controlled by Satan, Jesus Christ, help me in my time of need. CHARGE!

Bob: Oh crap!

Robot Jesus: STOP!

Paula's Dad: I- I- It's Jesus!

Paula's Mom: (praying)

Robot Jesus: attempting to harm Bob will result in getting shot with a shotgun... Have a horrible day. (shoots Paula's parents)

Paula: Mom... Dad... You can bring them back... right Bob?

Bob: They scared me during some epic fiddlin' ... they should stay dead!

Paula: (crying) bu... but... why! WHY! I WON'T SEE MY MOM... OR DAD... EVER AGAIN! (more crying)

Bob: I know you won't... those bodies are to messed up for an open casket funeral.

Ness: What the hell is wrong with you!

Bob: Everything, boy... Everything...

Lucas: Losing family members that you loved is such a horrible thing. Is there any part of you that regrets your decision!

Bob: …no... anyway here is a time machine if you all want to say hello to each other.

Porky: Bob, I think you are a great man for killing dumb whore's parents.

Paula: (uses PSI Fire Omega on Porky) WHEN IN THE HELL DO YOU STOP TALKING YOU OBESE PIG!

Kumatora: wait... we can use PSI now...

Bob: uh... Robot Jesus... code... SMOKE BOMB! (Bob disappears)

Paula: (cries again)

Ness' Mom: At least we won't see Bob again, Paula

Paula: I know... but since my parents are gone... I have to live in an orphanage.

Tracy: Can she stay with us mommy?

Ness' Mom: she'll stay in your room.

Tracy: Why not Ness' room?

Ness' Mom: I have seen enough daytime dramas to know that a girl who is emotional weak is easy to get in bed with. That and the fact they are hormonal teenagers and dating.

Ness: -_- I am not a horrible person.

AT FUTURE NINTEN'S PLACE OF EMPLOYMENT...

Ness' Dad: (looking at horoscopes) You will have to put that month of free time off because your son's girlfriend had her parents murdered and she will be living with your family... (stops reading) Now that will never happen.

TWO WEEKS LATER...

Ness: hey, Paula... are you doing better.

Paula: a... little bit

Ness: that's good to hear.

Paula: Ness, your family... is just so helpful and nice... and your dad has to work longer because of me...

Ness: Paula, he said it was alright.

Paula: I know... but your family is just so great.

Lucas: Ness!

Ness: What is it Lucas?

Lucas: We are being invited back to Smash Bros.! Are you going?

Ness: Pit and Toony (Toon Link) are awesome to hang out with... but Samus...

Lucas: If you would not have stolen her power suit, she might hate you less.

Ness: and there is also Paula.

Paula: Go ahead Ness, I'll be fine.

Lucas: They do allow visitors now, so you can come by any time you like.

Ness: Well let's go!

**NEXT ToD: SUPER SMASH BROTHERS BRAWL!**

**Coming out in a few days.**


End file.
